a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
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Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
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So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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