you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
