instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
