She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
