Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
