I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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