He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.