she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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