Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
