mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
