kristin has been a bad kristin
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The power of my boobs compel you
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
