I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize