Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
splinters make it hard to masturbate
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
