I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
