hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
