Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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