p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
