omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
