Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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