More tranny stories later!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
