Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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