So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
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