i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
