i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
