Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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