So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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