Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
