Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize