Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
there was a trapeze. enough said
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
