I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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