brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize