he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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