Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
