Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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