Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
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I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
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yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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