your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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