Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize