it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
