I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
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