Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
