Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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