I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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