If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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