trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
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I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
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If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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