We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
