i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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