he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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