Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize