careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
