Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
