well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
