I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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