I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
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It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
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A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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