I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize