can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
