My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.