He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?