At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea