Goodnight sugar queer
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch