Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
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NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
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It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.